The Complete Randomness of Sarah Dope

Dear heart,

I would appreciate it if you would get over him already. Seriously.

He only attempted to talk to you before the IGA’s because he “didn’t want it to be awkward,” not because he actually gave a flying fuck otherwise. He didn’t think you were worth the relationship. You have plenty to be pissed about, say “fuck you”, and move on… so why are you still lingering?

I’m sick and tired of finding myself in a snowstorm of thoughts and pain any time I have a spare moment without any sort of distraction. I’m sick and tired of lying to everyone, including myself, “assuring” them that I’m fine, everything is great, I’m getting better, blah blah blah. I’m sick and tired of considering doing stupid and temporary solutions again. I’m just sick and tired of being so sick and tired.

This feeling is exactly what I was trying to prevent for so many years. It’s why I rarely let anyone past my walls, and if I did let anyone in, it was never all the way. Then I made the mistake of letting my guard down entirely and actually trusting someone 110%. Now I feel royally fucked.

It’s been three months. How long is this going to freakin’ take…